Choosing, Changing and Prioritizing

Moments in our lives can easily pass us by.  I could hardly remember my childhood.  If only I knew what was up ahead, I would have held on to the fun and care-free sensation I had back then.  In school, I was a lousy and lazy student.  I which I appreciated back then the opportunity to build traits that would have made me more productive.  At home, all I did was watch TV and play.  It was even more laid back on summer days.  Our schedule would be breakfast, play, afternoon nap, go for various lessons such as swimming, piano, guitar, dancing or whatever and then play and watch TV until bed time.

I became more withdrawn during high school.   By this time, everything felt repetitive to me and I had no idea what the purpose of my life were.  I spent most of my time in silence and filled with thoughts.  My solitude continued until college. 

My first job is probably my first exposure to the real world.  I worked in a corporate set up where people came from all walks of life and with various educational backgrounds.  It was definitely not as I imagined and not what school prepared me for.  Career advancement does not necessarily correlate with length of time served or the passion they had.  I began to realize that only you can choose the rewards you want in life.  You have to decide in every step of the way where you want to go and there is no right and wrong answer.  And, no one other than yourself will even care. 

I really didn't want to be in the field where my educational background should lead me.  I was bold enough to get out of it despite my mom's disappointment.  Soon, I had a relationship and we built it around our goals of having our own business.  A lot of years of my youth was spent on it and then came the truth...  I was the only one pushing for it because I was the only one who wanted it.  So, we packed up and went out separate ways.

I'm in the age where most of my peers are already settled.   My female friends and classmates are getting married.  I have to admit, the reason why I worked so much for my first relationship is because I thought I was supposed to follow that path too.  At my age, my mom was already stable and had my older brother.  If I could go back, I probably should've spent more time on myself.  But since I can't, my search for solid ground continues.  I don't know how others do it.  How do they simplify things that are so complex?  How could easily be contented with what they have and stick with it.  For me, the more I observe, the more I tend to stop, think, choose and change. 

People are so diverse that you'd be amazed at how they prioritize things.  Once you decide on what you want, you have to develop time management to squeeze them all in your limited time.  I know it sounds easy but I still haven't got a hang of this.   I'm determined to make a list of my priorities soon!