2016 is the year where I can say I am almost fully healed from Eczema and I can function
normally except I have to use gloves to wash dishes and do laundry. I have gotten used to
cooking my own veggie meal every day. And, I still get to try eat whatever I want in
I have realized the expense of health with my daily veggies and supplements. But, it’s still
cheaper than buying steroid creams or worse getting hospitalized for a graver illness
I am still a stress eater but I can now easily detect and lessen stress and negativity in my
After my hideous skin has cleared up and I now have the time, there’s no excuse not to visit
Ex (three years and half after I broke up with him) and Lychee. The encounter was intense
as expected. Memories of our 10-12 years of being with each other every single day that I
thought I have forgotten is still there. It was painful and sad. There probably more feelings
that I could not identify. But, what I could discern is that there is still respect for each
other even if he has already moved on happily, found himself a new relationship and a
course in life drastically opposite of mine that I doubt we’ll ever encounter each other in a
normal circumstance. We were both wishing each other to have a better future. It was a confirmation of self-forgiveness and forgiveness of each other. There was no need for words. We both knew we made our fair share of mistakes and those taught us a lot for the future.
It was very relieving for me because over the years I always knew we were different and
the only thing keeping us together is our belief in commitment and purpose of relationship
which is to serve the other. We’ve gotten so used to compromising that we were denying
the fact that we were settling. We were so eager to please and serve each other that we hardly
fought over anything anymore.
It gave me a new perspective when it comes to relationships. I used to think that as long as you communicate and have a common interest then it will work out. But, it’s actually respect, trust and appreciation that is more important. And, you can only do that despite the ups and downs and all the failures and mistakes that will be committed if you’re within the same mindset and have the same values.
It’s kind of ironic that I found this biggest loss to be the biggest gain I ever had in terms of
learnings and growth.
Although in the brink of 2016-2017, I think I'll also add here that during random talks with shobe. I've discovered that I was a bit pessimistic when it comes to relationships. While I'm very understanding and highlight strengths and overlook flaws in others, I don't apply this type of positive reinforcement in intimate relationships. I thought it's because of the depth and honesty involved that I point out flaws directly so we can both grow. But, I now realized that my approach shouldn't be any different.
I’ve read from a Psychotheraphy (treatment for those who have experience trauma) article
that destiny involves our personality… our mindset. Through our mindset, we have a choice
on how we adapt and react to external factors and stimuli (including our environment and
genes) called fate. Like everything our mindset as well as common interests are constantly
changing. Therefore, I am an eternal student of life. What I think is right today may
not be right tomorrow and my wants now can be irrelevant tomorrow.
The amazing thing that I discovered with fate is that the answer can be just before us but
we fail to recognize or appreciate it unless by some twist of fate an event happens or a
person presents in a way for us to comprehend. So let’s see what my learnings and change
of mindset are from the happenings of 2016:
I compensate my way of dealing with others with empathy, respect and sincerity.
Thank you family, friends and pets for accepting me for who I am. I can never feel
lonely while being surrounded by your warmth.
- I no longer crave for sweets and junk food. I now enjoy the wonderful feeling that vegetables give to my body.
- I can easily compromise many things just to please others and avoid petty arguments.
- I would rather earn less for a stress-free life.
- I can forgo free trips and eat outs just to use the time to do some chores at home or to spend the time with the family.
- I’d rather have wisdom than knowledge.
- I don’t want to be defined by my profession. I will do it efficiently and sincerity but not for distinctions and monetary gain. I need the stable pay to support my mom and buy quality dog food for my 8 dogs.
- I will still continue to do my hobbies:
- Events photography (http://picsisphoto.blogspot.com): I was not able to expand on my knowledge and expertise in this field this year because of my busy schedule. But, I will continue to work on this seeing how this is important in family events. And, I am also happy to please clients as I help them preserve their memories. I think in this avenue my weakness is my lack of observation skills and perspective to be more creative. That’s why I also try to add more creative shots of day to day life in my personal Instagram (@stacyliong) but I’m having a difficult time with it.
- Lifestyle Blog (www.crumpylicious.com): I’m still the same person who hate routine and loves to explore and learn new things. This is my memoir of events I’ve been to and lessons I’ve learned. I’m not as active as in the past but this still serves it purpose. I will continue this as I enjoy reading my previous posts and recalling my memories. It has come to my attention that in our life time, we can only recall memories a few times in our lives. In which case, I’d rather have triggers like these posts so I can recall them whenever I want.
- Food Blog (www.tsinoyfoodies.com): I’m still a foodie. But, my preference has shifted from enjoying quality more than quantity. I used to devour until my tummy will burst. Now, I just want to try and taste more variety. I now enjoy small courses of fine dining than being stuffed in an eat-all-you-can meal. If I can choose between a free extravagant meal as against sharing a simple meal with family and friends, I’d choose the latter. (Yes I’m actually quite sentimental) So, it’s quite easier for me to recall and write when I’ve dined with the latter.
- Food Instagram (@tsinoyfoodies): I’ve always considered myself to be an analytical and whole picture kind of person that’s why I took up accountancy. My blogs are all mostly informative because of that. Thank you followers for appreciating my improvement with my food photographs. I never thought that I could expand my artistic side. And, this is the proof of that.
- Travel Blog (www.traveltripsters.com): I used to think that I like travel so much. I am always jealous whenever I see my friends travel posts in social media especially if the shots are awesome. Like food, I realized that I only like it once in a while and in the company of loved ones. I can’t be a frequent traveler because I’ll miss home. So I will still travel and continue to update this with my travels but travels taken on my own time and on my own leisure.
- Legal Blog (www.philippinelegalguide.com): I’ve been really lazy in updating this. Now, I have a lot of files and notes with nowhere to go but the trash. I intend to transfer some of them here for preservation purposes. Anyways, my memory is not as good anymore so I better to keep some of them here and it also helps others.
- Charity Work: I have declined all opportunity as a volunteer photographer in the NGO which I’ve been participating. I hope I can allocate time to do more next year.
- Gardening: I’ve done a nasty job here. During my review, most of my plants died. =( Maybe I’ll just leave this hobby to shobe who does better in crop plants.
- Respect: Being appreciative of the littlest things, I can’t help but admire and respect others. To the elders, I’ve mastered obedience as it naturally follows respect. This is also my motivation for doing my household chores regularly and efficiently. (Yes, I'm finally giving order to my disorganized life)
- Patience: I am happy that my patience has expanded even more.
- Empathy and Understanding:
- Having gone through so much and yet I was able to cloak it from friends and family because I did not want to scare them or worry. If it happened to me, of course it happens to everybody as well. I’m sure everyone has a tough story behind their seemingly irrational behavior. Thus, I am not more complacent and understanding as ever. I always give anything the benefit of the doubt. As a result, I now find myself being rarely pissed off or irritated which is perfect for my good health and eczema. Because of my eczema, I have come to believe that it is our human nature to be good. Otherwise, even our body will complain from the negativity and stress.
- After all my failures and all my flaws, I had a hard time forgiving myself which took a toll on my body. That’s when I realized that as long as we are alive, we can move on and improve. Therefore, whether it is with ourselves, we should highlight and strengthen the good things. And, we should not define ourselves and others with our flaws because that what life is all about: to weed out the flaws and improve. As we grow, those flaws will eventually vanish (hopefully in our memories too). We should then live in the present, forgive and enjoy the better future.
- Moreover, I’ve come to learn that the heart like every muscle in our body requires exercise for it to be efficient. So I have no doubt that I will become wiser, more empathic and understanding in the years to come.
- Discipline: All my life, I never had the discipline to conform to regularity. Just late this year, I’ve come to appreciate the art and meaning in conforming to regularity as a means of survival and self-improvement. I found this to be an essential element of maturity, efficiency and aging.
- Openness: Siblings call me the topper for always trying to supersede their ideas with mine. Now, I’m less stubborn and more open. Not entirely but I’ll get there. =))
- Thankfulness: I’m very grateful to have my family and friends. I don’t think I can ever ask for a better life. Contentedness is easy to achieve because I was born in an already comfortable status. As to all the events that have happened, I’m kind of glad they happened the way they did. I value my personal growth in all aspects more than anything and I’d like to believe that I’ve grown so much because of the things that happened. I
- Generosity: When I was sick, I realized how much of an illusion owning something is. I don’t even have control of my very own body. Thus, I’ve become less materialistic and less attached to things. I’ve come to enjoy having the power to give than to receive. (Easy as it sounds this didn’t come naturally to me as a person)